


You Know What They Do To Guys Like Us In Smut

by jatty



Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: Alternate Universe - Crack, Bandom - Freeform, Comedy, Crack, M/M, Porn With Plot, Sex, Shameless Smut, Songfic, Wizard of Oz
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-28
Updated: 2013-11-28
Packaged: 2018-01-02 21:07:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,428
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1061659
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jatty/pseuds/jatty
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A loosely connected story about what happens when Gerard is a little too easy and his bandmates acquire a keen sense of imagination to keep their trips while on tour from getting too boring or mundane. Add a little magic and a little bit of hormones and they could swear it was as if they were in an entirely different world.</p>
            </blockquote>





	You Know What They Do To Guys Like Us In Smut

**Author's Note:**

> Based on comedy song by the group ToyBox. You don't have to know the song to enjoy the story, but it's just some food for thought ;)
> 
> Chapter 1: Based on the song "The Wizard of Oz" by ToyBox.  
> Couple(s): The "Wizard"/Gerard

Do you believe in magic? Because Gerard sure didn’t…not until he fell asleep on his band’s tour bus and woke up all alone. No one else was in the bunks around him, and the bus was deserted and apparently had stopped. Gerard lifted the dark curtain covering the large windows and had to blink a few times before he realized the world outside the bus had turned into sepia tones.

Everything inside the bus was still colorful and bright—and more than a little bit smelly—but outside, it was like an old film or something.

Just like the story about the _Wizard of Oz_ …or something.

Gerard wondered if his bandmates had wandered off the bus to explore the new surroundings, but after a little while of waiting he realized that they weren’t coming back.

They must have been taken which meant…he’d been spared?

No—not spared! _Gifted!_

Gerard had always wished for a chance to be a special person, and this was going to be his chance to shine! He was going to find his friends!

So he changed into some clean clothes and sprinted off the bus, more excited than worried. He knew what he had to do—he had to find the Wizard and he would get home!

He couldn’t tell if the brick road his bus had stopped on was supposed to be the Yellow Brick Road since everything was either tan or brown, but he sprinted off ahead, past a house that was crashed into the ground.

Of course he’d seen the _Wizard of Oz_ before, so he stole the shoes off the feet poking out, and sprinted away. The shoes were neither ruby nor heels—they were sparkly brown Converse sneakers that were almost too small and pinched his toes. Gerard knew if he tapped his heels, he’d be back in the real world, but—duh—he couldn’t go without his friends! My Chemical Romance couldn’t play if it was missing everyone but the singer!

So Gerard kept running until—bam! He smacked into a fencepost that came out of literally nowhere. Trying to catch his breath, Gerard looked around and spotted a scarecrow off in the distance. 

Even from afar, he could see it had glasses and he knew right away—it was Mikey!

So Gerard ran over and cut him down from the post, and as soon as the Mikey-crow hit the ground, he sprang back up muttering cruses and shaking his head.

He whined about how itchy he was with straw under his clothes and started pulling the stuffing out from inside of his Anthrax t-shirt. Gerard began to panic, believing that Mikey-crow was going to accidentally kill himself by ripping out all the stuffing, but soon realized that Mikey-crow wasn’t a scarecrow at all—someone had just filled his clothes with straw.

“Are you missing a brain?” Gerard asked as they walked down the tan-brick road.

“No—are you missing your cock, Dorothy?” Mikey asked, crossing his arms over his chest. Obviously, he wasn’t as excited about this whole alternate dimensions situation as Gerard was.

“We have to find the others,” Gerard said.

Mikey just shrugged and poked fun at Gerard’s ugly, bedazzled Converse shoes.

Soon, the tan brick road led them into a dark patch of woods where they find Bob, frozen in place and painted with a shiny, bronze paint. Instead of an oil can, there was a watering can. Gerard dumped the water on Bob’s head and he came to life with an angry growl that left both Mikey and Gerard sprinting away down the tan brick road.

Bob-Can-Man followed them, spluttering about the damage done to his clothes and shoes by the water and metallic paint. 

Before long, Gerard spotted that a tan bush up ahead on their path was rustling and out jumped a Ray-on—or Ray forcedly disguised in a lion costume that looked like footie-pajamas. 

“We have to find Frank now,” Gerard said, making all of them link hands and skip even though Bob-Can-Man said he was going to crush his skull when they got back to the world of color. 

After that, everything got a little bit fuzzy. Gerard kind of remembered running into a bunch of little people, and although he’d been expecting to find Frank as the mayor of the Munchkins, Frank had not been there.

Nor was he the wicked witch!

Yeah, things got a little fuzzy after they’d all skipped into a field of heroin needles. Gerard couldn’t remember if Mikey, Bob-Can-Man and Ray-on had stopped in the needles, or if _he’d_ stopped in the field of needles and lost sight of them. But that scary fleet of flying monkeys had certainly reserved a place in Gerard’s nightmare bank!

Whatever happened, Gerard finally caught sight of the “Emerald City” (although it was more of a mud-brown city now) and he hoped to find Frank there—and maybe the rest of his friends too! 

Being a special hero was really time consuming and exhausting! Who would’ve guessed?

Just outside of the city limits, Gerard sat down on the tan brick road to catch his breath. He flipped his hair wiped his nose on his sleeve. He was afraid he wasn’t going to find Frank, and it was so sad being on his own again. He really wished that his brother and the others would come back from the heroin field and help him face the wizard!

Suddenly, out of nowhere, a cloaked figure appeared before him on the path.

“What are you doing here?” The figure asked. His voice was deep and scary, and Gerard was afraid it was one of the Wicked Witch’s servants. He wore a hood which concealed his face in shadows, and Gerard was afraid—but he was more afraid of being alone, so he didn’t run away even though he wanted to. “What are you doing here?” The person asked again.

“I really wish I knew,” Gerard said, looking down at the tan brick road. He wanted to be a special hero, but he also wanted his friends and his old life back. He hated it here… “I really want to know so much…”

“Know what?” The person asked.

“Where all of my friends went,” Gerard said. Suddenly, an idea hit him. So far, he and the rest of the band had been major characters from the story—if Frank wasn’t one of the Munchkins or the Witches, maybe he was the Wizard of Oz!!!

But he was trying to walk away toward the Brown City!

“Wait! Excuse me, which way is Oz? Is this the land of Oz?” Gerard asked, chasing the figure as he followed the path.

“What would you do if you made it to Oz?” the figure asked.

“I am searching for the magic land,” Gerard insisted. “Will you take me to the Land of Oz?”

“Yes, I will. Come on,” the figure said, turning to look at Gerard. “Follow me, my girl.”

“Let’s go then,” Gerard huffed, not liking being referred to as a girl when he was _obviously_ male. He hadn’t changed into a little plaid dress, that was for damn sure!

Though he was offended, he followed the hooded figure into the Brown City. Even in the sepia tones, it was magnificent and gorgeous! Gerard could only imagine its magnanimousness in color!

“Wow! It’s so beautiful!” Gerard shrieked, running off ahead as the figure followed him. “It’s magical!” He was prepared to continue on the path of the tan brick road, but the figure grabbed his hand and pulled him away down a side street. “Hey!”

Suddenly, he was faced with a large, ominous brown house and he didn’t know what to do.

“Welcome to the land of Oz,” the figure said.

“But…that’s your house and not the land of Oz,” Gerard said, blinking and looking around him at the empty streets.

“But this is much more fun,” the figure said, Gerard could practically hear his smirk. 

“Really?” Gerard asked, somewhat curious and somewhat sarcastic. That was something _Frank_ would say!

If this was Frank, then who was the Wizard of Oz? He followed the figure into the dark house and sighed as the door was closed behind him.

He was immediately wrapped up into the arms of the still-cloaked figure and was pushed against the closed door.

“Hey, hands off mister!” Gerard shrieked, blinking rapidly. 

“It’s part of the ritual,” the figure said, snaking one hand down the back of Gerard’s jeans and pinching Gerard’s butt.

“What ritual?” Gerard squeaked.

“Your friends have all been captured and this is the only way to get them back—Listen to the Wizard and you’ll be magical!”

Listen to the Wizard? Was _this_ the Wizard? Was this Frank???

“Do you have to touch me with your magic hands?” Gerard asked, squirming when the figure’s other hand worked its way down the front of his jeans and began stroking him—right there again the door. 

“So…tell me, are you the Wizard of Oz?” Gerard asked, blushing slightly.

The figure shushed him and continued to stroke him inside of his jeans.

“It works better if you unzip the zipper,” Gerard said, not sure why he was helping out the mysterious, magical groper. 

The figure laughed, a deep “Ho ha haha ha ha!” and unzipped Gerard’s pants. Gerard squeaked softly as he was turned around to face the door while the mysterious figure behind him disrobed. Gerard tried to turn his head around to see, but the figure fisted a hand in his hair and crushed his cheek against the door so he couldn’t look over his shoulder.

“So, tell me, are you the Wizard of Oz?” Gerard asked again. He was rewarded with a sharp smack on the ass and he felt his cheeks flush. He didn’t ever remember the _Wizard of Oz_ ever ending quite like this!

“Shh, it’s a secret!”

Gerard cried out when he felt the man’s fingers being pushed between his cheeks and shoved into his hole. Immediately, it started to burn, but the burn was _so good._ The man wiggled them around and kept tugging them in and out, occasionally pulling out all the way and just putting pressure on the puckered hole—threatening to reenter but taking an eternity to push them back it.

It was nothing Gerard hadn’t done before, but it was different not knowing who was behind it all!

It was almost nerve-wracking!

“Wizard, Wizard,” Gerard stammered, desperate to put any name to figure stroking and prodding his insides. The man reached around and began stroking Gerard’s erection which leaked pre-cum onto his hand which worked as lube. Gerard bucked his hips when the man ran a finger over his slit, toying with the beads of cum that worked their way out. “Will you be my wizard?” Gerard asked.

The man didn’t answer—he removed his fingers, took his hand away from Gerard’s erection, and smeared the cum on his hand across his own cock to serve as lube—mixing it with his own pre-cum and moaning as he lined himself up. 

He stayed in that position, teasing with the promise of the penetration Gerard so desperately desired.

“You can be my Wizard,” Gerard moaned. “But don’t tell anyone!” If word got out that he let himself be fucked by a stranger, Frank would _never_ forgive him—parallel dimension or not!

When he pressed inside, Gerard screamed in pleasure and banged his head against the door. If this really was the ritual he had to complete to get his friends back, it was the best fuckin’ ritual ever!

Once the man was fully inside, he reached around and began pumping Gerard again. One hand gripped Gerard’s hip firmly to keep him in place, and the pace he set up as he fisted Gerard’s leaking cock was nearly brutal.

Both of them were screaming in passion, and Gerard kept pushing his hips backwards to get the man in deeper.

He had a feeling that this was the Wizard—and that was what made it all okay. Because it _had_ to be the Wizard! If it wasn’t, this wouldn’t be a ritual that would save his friends—it would be ritual that got him captured by the Wicked Witch.

“I-I had a wish to be—be…be,” Gerard choked as he tried to speak, to explain to his sudden lover why he needed to go to the land of Oz. “Be…be!—be!” But he couldn’t get the words out, because the man kept fucking him hard and fast into the door which slammed with each thrust.

Gerard’s insides were burning, but the pain couldn’t reach his brain because all of his senses were overcome with bolts of pleasure as the head of the man’s cock slammed into Gerard’s sensitive prostate. It left him a quivering mess, helplessly gripping onto the wood of the door as his cock was pleasure—and his entire body was pleasured from the inside out.

He thought he was already over the edge even before the man raised the hand from Gerard’s hip to pinch and tease one of his nipples. The added tingling and tweaking made Gerard moan deep in his throat, and he felt his muscles clenching and fluttering around the man’s thick cock. 

Gerard shot his load against the dark wood of the door at the same time that the man behind him came deep inside. Gerard felt it fill him up—like a hot, liquid fire that didn’t scald but _burned so good!_

“Tell me, are you the Wizard of Oz?” Gerard begged, falling flat against the door while his pants and underwear laid on the floor around his ankles. 

“Of course I am,” the man responded—and, of course, that voice was Frank’s.

( ) ( ) ( )

Gerard awoke on the couch of the tour bus. He could feel that the bus was moving, and when he opened his eyes, everything appeared normal. 

The crotch of his pants—the inside of his boxers—was hot…slimy and sticky.

He tried to sit up, but felt strong arms wrap around his chest and pull him back. Gerard tilted his head back as far as he could and recognized Frank looking down at him.

Gerard was sad that it had all apparently just been a dream—a big wet dream. So much for being a hero…

“So…Do you believe in magic?” Frank asked. 

Gerard stiffened and felt his cheeks begin to burn.

Or maybe it wasn’t just a wet dream after all.

**Author's Note:**

> So I've never written anything like this, so I hope it's enjoyable!
> 
> Follow me on Twitter @Jatty_Sinful!


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